| Last Updated 92 weeks ago? Seriously? |
[22 May 2009|02:47am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
none |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Sound of Silence, which sounds strangely like my computer's too many fans. |
] |
I knew I'd been away a while, but I didn't realize it was that long. Not really likely to change much. But I figured it wouldn't kill me to show up and poke around a little.
|
|
| sleep |
[09 Jul 2007|02:01am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 not sleepy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
fans |
] |
So some of my friends count on me never sleeping. This I suppose is reasonable. Look I'm posting at 2am...I should probably sleep, but as it has oft been said: sleep is for the weak.
---Stephen
|
|
| Love Song of Night and Day |
[15 May 2007|01:35am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 non-descript |
] |
Something reminded me of this, and at first I was just looking for one line that was at the very end of the poem, then I discovered that the poem actually exists in its entirety (as opposed to only the parts that made it onto Magic cards). ---Stephen
Our love is like the river in the summer season of long rains:
For a little while it spilled its banks, flooding the crops in the fields.
But soon it will evaporate with the dry heat. Like Day from Night,
I'll live my life apart from you, just glimpsing you across the sky,
because you cannot change, my dear, and nor can I.
---Love Song of Night and Day
|
|
| Flemings and Waloons |
[08 May 2007|12:16am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 devious |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Deleted 95% of mp3 collection |
] |
I think I want to learn Dutch.
That is All
---Antwerp42
|
|
| Virginia Tech |
[17 Apr 2007|12:17am] |
So I've kinda been floored today. At Virginia Tech someone killed I think 32 people and themselves in what is now the bloodiest school shooting to date. That's not even to account for the 29 or so wounded in the incident. As a college student myself (well, my soul is that of a college student anyways) it hits me pretty hard just as a concept. The Columbine shooting didn't really affect me, I was in 8th grade and the general feeling for me was that it was something that just happened there and didn't really have any implications on us. This on the other hand's different. Virginia Tech is basically just like Carolina, people come from all over, big cities and small towns all over the US and the World. If it can happen there, it can happen at UNC, and this is somewhat unsettling.
That said, now is not a good time to panic. The world is not more dangerous than it was yesterday. We don't need to beef up dorm and classroom security, we don't need to enact new and stricter gun control laws, it's the same world as yesterday, just with a few less people in it.
It's a tragedy, and there's a great amount of sincere recognition of that right now, but I feel itching at the edge of it is a media frenzy trying to happen, which I think would be an injustice. Now I don't mean that it doesn't deserve media coverage, I'll even allow that it should get a lot of it, because it's caught America's mind in one way or another very strongly. However while watching the coverage I could see reporters trying to get some sort of angle that really doesn't need to be there. For example: one reporter tried to insinuate that "there wasn't enough security in the dorms." This is of course laughable. Students, away from the prying eyes of housing officials and administrators, let us all be honest with one another. Dorm security and the lack thereof is more a function of the students in the dorms. We let anyone in who looks like they might be a student. Furthermore we wouldn't tolerate hightened security in the form of armed guards, video cameras in our rooms and more card checkpoints. Students do things to disable such things (especially the armed guards). Also, when the threat is a student (as this most likely was) then quite simply, they'd be allowed to pass relatively unchallenged. Another question asked again by "the media" trying to stir up trouble is "why wasn't the campus shut down after the first shooting." Again, that's only logical in retrospect. It's true that were classes not in session the second shooting couldn't have happened the way it did. But closing down the school wouldn't have evacuated the campus like it does at a high school, it'd just leave students in their dorms and wandering campus. As terrible as it is to say the murder of two people on a college campus isn't a cause for widespread panic, it's a cause for sadness and a murder investigation. And it's not like leaving students in dorms when there's been a dorm killing is really that great an idea on how to best protect them.
I'm not really sure if this is a cynical media approach to try to dredge up more scandal, or whether it's a despirate attempt to find some reason why these things happen in a void of answers. The sad reality is that these things aren't avoidable by any sort of normal prevention methods, and most of them that you could try would end up making it seem like a police state rather than a safer place. The problem lies within the people who do these things. It's complicated and hard to see coming and no one left to blame right now. Maybe it was parents, grades, friends, romance, general stress, it's hard to say, but people have always had breaking points and this one aparently hit his and was wired somehow to go off that way.
I was discussing this at the bar at Asheville Pizza over my giant pile of pizza slices and there was some debate about the influence of violent video games and movies and so forth desensitizing people to violence and the possibility that someone could snap and blurr the distinction between reality and make believe. The problem with this is of course that violence has existed since the dawn of human civilization (actually somewhat before) and the worst that can really be said for video games is that they increase reaction time and eye hand coordination. And if that's a problem then little league has to stop too. The unfortunate reality is that some people snap and go homocidal and some people don't and there aren't going to be any great social evils at the root of it all, unless you count (almost surely well meaning) parents.
I don't know whether I totally missed the point in all of that somewhere, but it'll have to do. I send all my best thoughts to Virginia Tech and to everyone who knows anyone there, I'm lucky, the girl I know there's alright...she's not as lucky, at least one of her friend's isn't.
---Stephen
|
|
| My life in summation |
[08 Apr 2007|02:02am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 contemplative |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Chris DeBurgh - Lady in Red (Spanish) |
] |
Girl 1: I thought you two already knew eachother.
Girl 2: No, I've never seen him before in my life.
Me: I'm a ghost, I come unannounced and I leave with as much ceremony.
|
|
| What's My Age Again? |
[04 Apr 2007|10:57pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 alright |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Lesley Gore - It's My Party |
] |
...nobody likes you when you're 23.
My birthday is coming to a close, I really should be in bed. Going thattaways shortly, just thought I'd give a life update and birthday report first.
So I've started working, doing manual labor for Labor Ready. I'm trying to get regularly assigned to GDS (local trash collection firm). I really enjoy it, it's got good scenery, it's not too hard, it's a childhood dream come true (who hasn't wanted to ride the truck?) and it beats the hell out of construction. So that's going pretty well, it pays alright and it's good exercise and they have coffee in the morning AND in the afternoon. This past Sunday I won an eating contest by eating a huge bowl (=1 box=14 servings) of Cherios (with in my case, rice milk) in 13 minutes, my reward was more cereal ;). I kick ass, and Eaties Cereal Bar totally rocks.
Now onto the birthday fun, so I skipped work (the advantages of setting your own schedule/not having to show up when you don't want to. I slept instead. I got up around 11 and didn't really move that much until 4:00 when Ellen (my sister) got home. She took me out to dinner, I got to pick the restaurant, and I made a daring move...I went to the restaurant the replaced my favorite restaurant...good choice it turned out. Guzmo's Mojo Cafe is incidentally nearly identical to Boston Pizza, they tweaked a few things and added breakfast. The Greek salad isn't as good as the old one (it's still decent, but now Hector's in Chapel Hill officially has my favorite Greek salad), though the Greek Pizza's still totally good. I think they changed the crust, it's good, I might have preferred the old style slightly, but I certainly won't complain, it's still got the good ole healthy grease (you can tell when your grease is good for you and when it's going to just kill you outright, this is the good kind). Then we got ice cream at the Hop. All in all not a bad trip out.
Afterwords I made use of her car and we went to Target (I feel less guilty getting my cheap goods at Target than at Wal-Mart...smaller dinosaur). I needed some work cloths. So I got myself another pair of blue jeans, more underwear, more socks, some kickass steel toed boots (no more borrowing crappy ass uncomfortable boots and having to shove my shoes into my backpack every day.) So I'm better equipped, but most importantly I got myself my official birthday presents to myself for the year. Casino Royale and While You Were Sleeping. I'm quite pleased. I haven't seen Casino yet, but everyone says it's good. I wonder what it'll take to convince Becky to let me watch it on the projector screen at Eaties...hmm... Now there's an odd combination of purchases: steel toed workboots, James Bond and Sandra Bullock.
Well, it's sleepytime.
---Stephen, age 23
|
|
| Must Be the Beard |
[25 Mar 2007|06:50am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 creative |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Christine Kane - (No Such Thing As) Girls Like That |
] |
True(ly odd) Story
I was hit on this weekend not just once but twice.
Nothing unusual about that, it doesn't happen to me every day; even so normally I'd not feel inclined to toot my own horn and brag about it. Though this time was...special.
Both of them were guys, but it's Asheville and gay guys are pretty common. It happens, doesn't make me uncomfortable or anything when gay guys hit on me, I mean it can be a little awkward, though I figure it's really no worse than when anyone you're not interested in hits on you. This too would usually not warrent any special notice. But something was unusual about these two...
They were straight.
"Hey Girl!" and "How's it going babe?"
I have two thoughts
A) I can't believe guys actually say these things, and
B) I need to shop at Old Navy more often, aparently it make me irresistably stylish.
---Stephen
p.s. I need to work on my female speaking voice, if this keeps up I could have some fun with this. Though I imagine the young one who was with his friends will NEVER live it down. He may need new friends.
|
|
| To Kill a Mockingbird |
[22 Mar 2007|06:06am] |
You know that guy in to Kill a Mockingbird who's always wandering around town drinking out of a paper bag. Sometimies I think I'm a little like him. And not just for the obvious superficial reason that I'm always wandering around town drinking out of a paper bag.
---Stephen
|
|
| Coffee of Doom |
[11 Mar 2007|01:27pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 crazy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
silence |
] |
You know you're losing your grip on reality when it crosses your mind that Coffee of Doom is understaffed and you consider putting in an application.
---Stephen
|
|
| 2006: a year in the life of a livejournal |
[02 Jan 2007|02:11pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
reflective |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Kate Ryan - Only If I |
] |
Here's something I threw together. I just took the first entry for every month and put in its subject. I skipped those that didn't have entries. I also skipped over entries that had the title "..." except for October...only one post that month. It's been an interesting way for me to remember the year again. So while the product isn't that interesting to other people, the process was good for me. Enjoy (if you can manage it)
---Stephen
January
If bikini clad girls were to jump off a cliff, yes I'd go too.
February
Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades
March
post
April
Those things you'd never expect
May
Seemed to be some kind of man...
June
God Loves Squirrels
July
Live from New York, it's Tuesday Morning
August
that which we call a rose...
September
women: a rant
October
...
November
every day
December
Second Chances
|
|
| Thoughts on Love (Error 404: Christmas Special) |
[25 Dec 2006|05:48am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
thoughtful/Snarky |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Judy Garland - Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas |
] |
It's Christmas, and while I feel it neccesary to remind everyone that on December 25th, 1991 Mikhail Gorbachev resigned as President of the Soviet Union. So this is the 15 year mark. USSR, we shall miss thee...kinda. Moving on.
Love. It's Christmas, the official holiday of love...well...one of 'em.
You cannot treat the people you love the way they deserve to be treated. Or more precisely, you shouldn't. You must treat the people you love either as they ought to deserve to be treated, or how they need to be treated in order to become more deserving of good treatment. Love isn't the most rational thing, and people who try to treat love rationally are going to pay a price for that.
There are members of my (somewhat creatively defined) family who have a point of contention, the specifics aren't really the point, suffice it to say one believes that the other should make certain life plan changes for their own good. This is very well intentioned. However, such things are easily read as criticism, and not really the constructive kind. The well intentioned advisor believes that their behavior has been completely reasonable, and has not included criticism, but merely questions and advice, this person would like straight answers so they can know what's going on. The other person in this scenario believes that the questions are pointed, the advice "optional" in much the same way that taxes are "optional" and the other option is having the IRS reposess your car. These people have gotten into a huff and are not communicating very well with one another (at least where this issue is concerned).
The problem here (as I see it) is that the advising-type person is assuming that the advisee-type person is interacting only with what they are saying/doing in a very crisp real-world sort of way. "Everyone has to." says the advisor. Well, yes...kinda. The problem is while it is very fair to assume that people are interacting only with reality and not a modified perception of reality...it's not very smart. At least it's not very smart if you care about the people in question. It's not about right or wrong, good or bad, etc... Not really important distinctions. What is important is trying to reach an understanding. It doesn't really matter what you say, what matters is what they think you say. Of course, to you it matters what you meant to say...rather than what you said. The trick is accepting that miscommunication has happened and to set about trying to communicate what was intended (and for bonus points you can figure out why the miscommunication happened in the first place so that the offended party can feel validated and understood and not seem crazy). Once people are dealing only with what was intended to be said, it's a lot easier to work with eachother.
Do people deserve all this effort? Not really. Have some people not met others halfway on this...surely. Does that mean you can just blow them off...yes. Should you? Depends...do you love them?
---Stephen
p.s. Did you know that the song "The Christmas Song" specifically excludes those who have reached the age of 93 or who have not yet had their first birthday from it's "Merry Christmas" offering? Consequently over half a million Americans (80% of whom are women) from this wishing of a Merry Christmas on the basis of their being at least 93 years of age. Furthermore almost 4 million people a year are considered not yet worth wishing a Merry Christmas to. Though that set at least gets a "Baby's First Christmas" orniment so they'll be able to prove validity come next year. "Grandpa's last Christmas" orniments seem like a bad idea to me.
p.p.s. Don't you love how I managed to totally ruin my post with that snarky last remark?
|
|
| Religious Philosophy |
[30 Nov 2006|05:06am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
happy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Fountains of Wayne - Hackensack |
] |
Excerpt from "Letter from Crete at October's End" by Robert Fulghum
Posted October 25, 2006
"AT LUNCH with the Metropolitan of Athens – a Bishop of the Orthodox Church - here at the Academy to address a conference on bio-ethics. A sizeable man – PhD – world traveler – lecturer at Harvard for several years – both thoughtful and light-hearted. I asked him if the Greek Orthodox Church was as dogmatically positioned as American Christians about abortion, stem-cell research, the death penalty, and the right to die. His answer surprised me. He said that in such complex matters, it is the role of the church to support the spiritual strength of those who must make difficult decisions. How sane."
www.robertfulghum.com
p.s. I love Robert Fulghum and I'd give him credit even if he didn't ask for it. But since he did I'll make especially sure not to have anyone accidentally steal his work...so yeah, if you borrow it, give him credit...blah blah. ---SMS
|
|
|
[26 Nov 2006|06:31pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
oh I don't do these things well |
] |
I probably should've made some update at some point about my thanksgiving break. Also National Turkies, the poor things got dreadful names this year. "Flyer and Fryer" might as well have called them "Steak and Shake" would've been better. People vote on these things. They had choices like "Plymoth and Rock" "Abraham and Lincoln" all sorts of fun things, but no, Flyer and Fryer.
My actual Thanksgiving may get a more complete description later (probably not) it was nice, pretty low key...well from some ways of looking at it. In other ways it was freaking amazing. Life's interesting that way. i met up with Sonia whom I haven't seen in 4 years, and we wandered around downtown Asheville and eventually went to the Fine Arts Theater and saw Fast Food Nation. There was no food involved in my thanksgiving (at least until Saturday). But as Thanksgivings go, probably one of the better ones I've had in a long time. Funny how that works.
---Stephen
|
|
| ... |
[10 Oct 2006|12:04pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
gharh! |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel - Graceland |
] |
I can't find my stuff. I'm missing an American Flag, as well as a whole bunch of my Narnia books...I mean sure I've got all 7 of them, but not the set I want, and that means I'm probably missing about 3 sets. This bothers me to no end. My flag's pretty cool too, I mean, in addition to being a quality cloth US Flag, it was at least nominally flown over the US Capitol on my 21st birthday. Perhaps that's silly, but it was a sincere gesture on the part of my father, and that if nothing else makes it cool.
I've generally been moody, sometimes very privately. I don't really want to get into the details about it, especially not in a public entry. But if you happen to notice that my behavior is erratic, know that there's probably a reason, and that I'd probably die before I told you what was going on. Also, I'm not even sure I could really explain what's up...which furthers my disinterest in telling people.
Also, my hair is awesome, though it does need about 2 more inches so I can tie it back easily when I have to, though as many people have pointed out: it looks better down.
---Stephen the Penguinslayer, Emperor of Maine, Protector of the Realm, Entropist Extraodinaire
|
|
| anger management |
[17 Sep 2006|07:45am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 not angry |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Da Vinci's Notebook - Title of the Song |
] |
I need to work on being less angry. There are many people who frustrate and otherwise bug me, and I need to learn to deal with it a little more level headedly. Hating on them or making fun of them, or pretty much any response of a similar nature is really unnecesary, and I've been guilty of it. And I need to stop. There is more to life than petty middle school crap, and I need to grow up again. I really hated middle school the first time, and I'd rather not repeat it.
I'm going to stop here, mostly because everything I keep trying to add seems really petty, so I'm ditching it. Though really I'm not trying to stop saying petty things, I'm trying to stop thinking petty things. But not saying them's a start...I hope.
---Stephen
|
|
| An exercise in political/military theory |
[15 Sep 2006|12:01am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 curious |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Arja Koriseva - Kevätvalssi |
] |
So had a chat with some friends that came up with the question. "What would the U.S. do if the Chinese were to launch a number of communication's satelleites (enough to be on par with the U.S.) and then with those same sateleites were to gun down the American ones? Leaving the world to rely on Chinese Sateleites." Please discuss this scenario and if you can tell me what you think the "appropriate" response is, as well as the one you think the Government would take. And any other ramblings you'd like.
---Stephen
p.s. I'm screening replies (at first) just to insulate replies from eachother, eventually all will be public, so don't put anything here you don't want made public.
p.p.s. I don't hate China, and it's only a mental exercise, honestly China is the only country with anything to gain from such a maneuver who might ever have the capacity to do such a thing, so it is the one being used. Simple as that.
|
|
| Tuesday's Tragedies |
[12 Sep 2006|04:23am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 pessoptomisticangry |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Dan Bern - New York City 911 |
] |
I think I do this every September 12th Well, here goes.
5 years ago, the US went totally batshit insane. I'm not sure there's a better way to say it. I think that the Onion summed it up fairly nicely with their point-counterpoint "We Must Retaliate with Blind Rage vs We Must Retaliate with Measured, Focused Rage (http://www.theonion.com/content/node/34153).
The world did not change overnight. The post 9/11 world that we live in is not the product of planes crashing into a few buildings. Those are indeed tragedies, but tragedies happen all over the world. Is it any less tragic if 100 buses are blown up over the course of several months each with 30 people on it than if 3000 people are killed in a few hours? The world didn't change, but rather we got a wake-up call that we live in the world. And when we got that call, we couldn't deal with it. We responded, not with the best of America, but with confusion, fear and anger. We needed so badly to right the world, to do something, anything to feel like we were dealing with the situation...and we lashed out violently and foolishly. It's a war with no clear objectives, no end point, and an enemy now identified only as terror. I have news for everyone, terrorism came long before the US did, and will be around long after the US is gone. Terror has been used as a means to an end for all time. Chanukha is a Jewish holiday celebrating a victory won mostly through terrorism, because it was the only way with which they could succeed. We cannot fight an unending war, but it seems we have no choice but to do it to save face.
And I know many would like to blame "the Government" for this. But that would be shirking responsibility. Perhaps there's been some hoodwinking some plays up in Washington that have moved "The War on Terror" to different places. But the fact remains that America, that is to say, the American people, asked for this. We called out together in rage and horror; we swore revenge. And we haven't been the same sense. We're still frightened, we accept so much with just the explanation "we live in a different world now," but the world is only different because we make it so. We need to move our lives back to the way they were. We shouldn't forget, but we can't afford to go forever on without our senses. Grief and anger can only so long guide our actions, we are too powerful a country, we hold too much in our hands, we can't act rashly, no matter how much it hurts. A boy may cry and fling himself about in anger, when a man does so...things are much worse.
I feel like I'm repeating myself and others, so I shall stop here.
Another year gone, ever so many more to go. I wish us luck.
---Stephen
|
|
| that which we call a rose... |
[02 Aug 2006|06:59pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
creative |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
air conditioning fans |
] |
I'm considering trying to make my public face as standardized as possible. Which is to say make it so my usernames are more consistent accross varous sites. Namely my AIM and Livejournal, but I imagine it'll crop up elsewhere. It just seems like consistency might beat out history.
The obvious choices I see are as follows.
Antwerp42 (which is already my most common username, and it never sets off any content filters, it's also generally available)
cockatrice (concise, no funny numbers, just one relatively obscure noun. Though not neccesarily always available, also sets of content filters from time to time)
mountainsmith (was still available on gmail, so it can't be too popular. It's fairly official looking, while still having some personality to it.)
Some derivative of the above, the advantage being, combining my already obscure choices with a modifier that's non-numerical basically ensures availability of the name wherever I go.
BlueAntwerp
AngelOfAntwerp
LurkingCockatrice
etc
Or something completely different.
This isn't the first time I've had this thought, but I thought I'd throw it out there and see what people thought about it.
---Stephen
p.s. if anyone knows standard or occasional username limits, I'd like to hear them. 8-20 characters long I think's not uncommon as a constrictor, but if you know of any narrower constrictions, I'd like to know.
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
cockatrice's journal
